Imposing enough title for you all?
Good.
Odd use of English aside, I feel I need to write a few things out. I'm not going to add journals as religiously as a devout Christian who cannibalizes Jesus every Sunday, so those of you perusing through these deviant journals to take a creepy, stalker-like view into the lives of complete strangers: prepare to be disappointed. This sort of thing will not be commonplace.
And, if the last bit was any indication, my internal censorship is on a leave of sorts.

Well, I've finally gotten back into school (well, as of August) and honestly, I missed the educational experience.
...I look forward to your letters...
But seriously, I'm really enjoying college level courses. Yeah, philosophy tends to be well over my head. Yeah, Art History is really a four-month slideshow in disguise. But Film Class is awesome and where else but college are you going to find a class focusing on the Literature of Graphic Novels (which I am 96.73% sure is my niche in life)? Ok, ACC is not what you would call a highly-accreditted institution. But in the end, what you get out of education what you put in. Big names are nice, but actually learning something is nicer. It may even be "the good" (You can thank me later for mentioning that, Gowan). I do hope, however, to finally have the financial surplus to fly myself out to San Francisco and attend my dream school: the Academy of Art University. Look out, San Fran! Nothing's stopping me from getting there!
...
Eventually...

There is one other thing I feel I need to address. I can feel the deviant stalkers quivering in there seats (or whatever they're sitting in. If you're in the car while reading this SHAME ON YOU!). You all ready? Mr. Hitchcock, prepare the minor key:
Relationships.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEE EEEEEEEEE!!!
*Stops to clean up the dead woman drenched in chocolate syrup in the shower*
...anyways...
Now, it would be unfair, even with my malfunctioning censor, to mention names. I hold no grudges or anything of the sort: this is a journal, not Jerry Springer. This is merely a rant (I guess that's the best way to put it), a way to expel a few things I've kept bottled up and post it on an art-based, semi-forum site for the world to see.
...
I am starting to rethink this entire decision.
Luckily no one outside my watchlist is bound to give a flying fuck about the "emotional woes" of poor Alex.
I think I'm in the clear on that one.
Ergo, I shall begin: Why the fuck are things so complicated? This is quite easily the most involved relationship I've been in, and just a few months ago the feeling slipped through my fingers like sand through a sieve. Now, the initial hurt has subsided, but it's left quite the scar. For a while after the explosive fizzle of our relations, I still had feelings for this woman. Hell, I told her even after I told her that love we once had had left us. Now I realize that was said in desperation, losing someone so close to me. Funny how time breeds clarity. Yeah, I still love her. I love my family. I love my friends (Marshall, if you somehow end up on deviant, do NOT take that in the wrong way). But romance has a funny way of wriggling its way out of all kinds of shit, especially the important variety. That doesn't mean that I have to oust her from my life, does it? It'd be a fucking feat, seeing as she's in my DnD group (which I've determined can be much like employee dating). And that's right, DnD fans: fucking feat. Feats specifically geared towards intercourse.
...I digress...
As I was saying, I don't think merely because we are no longer together means we can't be civil, or even *gasp* friendly with one another. By the same token, I don't feel the need to be overtly friendly all of the time. No, this is not my excuse change my demeanor. But I know I am not as needed by you as I once was. Hugs and consul I can do, however odd relationship advice courtesy of one's 'ex' is. One thing I know I can't do is kisses on the cheek. I know I mentioned I had wanted to, but I feel that, once again, was that twinge of desperation; my heart longing for what it once had. When the gesture was returned not long ago, I realized that I...really wasn't comfortable with it. It caught me off guard and to be honest...it's not something I need right now.
...
That last part was really specific. I apologize if one or more parties take offense to that fact, but I'm not about to keep this pent up any longer.


We all have ways to go; paths to follow. Mine, hopefully, goes to San Francisco and a career as a graphic novelist. Yours and others go elsewhere, towards your respective happinesses. To all my friends, I will always help you when need be. It's just that, in the future, I may not be there in person (unless, by some twist of fate, we meet up outside of Colorado). But, I'm not gone yet (You can't get rid of me that easily).

I will probably have explaining to do after this, but frankly my dear...I don't give a damn. It needs to be said, and I've always been better at writing things out.
...Haha, so sayeth the artist.
It's funny how a picture can say a thousand words, but sometimes can never really say the right things.

The time is nigh
to speak my mind
But now that time
is up